so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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