DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
