She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
