Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
