There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
