He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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