i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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