Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
