remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What a dumb baby whore.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well I just put wine in my tea
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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