everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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