alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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