Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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