Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize