My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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