May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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