i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
