Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
