nutella sex= disaster
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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