Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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