You really coming over, don't trick.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
