At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize