I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
