9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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