Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Terrible idea I love it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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