omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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