If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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