just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
