Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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