I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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