Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize