What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we're so committed to being not committed
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