I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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