why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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