Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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