I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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