he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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