Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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