I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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