Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize