i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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