the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
