worst night to have a conscience
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
