why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
