i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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