SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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