so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
