after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
