would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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