I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My ass is underappreciated
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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