i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
