I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
