Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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