So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
