Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize