this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize