then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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