I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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