Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
