May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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