He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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