I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize