You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
