When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
